Knowing the signs of pedophilia could protect your child

What happens when a child is the victim of a molester who is a family member? What emotional pain will the child continue to suffer well into adult years? What feelings of guilt will the parents experience when made aware of their child’s trauma while in their care?

I recall such an occasion when a detective came to my office, wanting to share a severe emotional trauma. I will call him David.

David had been a police officer for 16 years. He was professional, thorough, confident, and excelled in his position. As a detective, David continued with his devotion to his work and was a highly productive detective. There were never any signs of any personal or emotional problems with him.

David, obviously distraught and shaken, went on to share that as a child, living in his parents’ home, he was sexually abused by a family member that had been temporarily staying with them. David had suppressed this trauma and went on to live a productive personal and professional life. He explained the perpetrator had returned to the area. His painful memories were no longer suppressed. By all appearances, David was a devout Christian, and his witness was an example for all around him.

I referred David to our mental health services for evaluation and treatment. The year was around 1987, before the 1996 Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, better known as HIPAA. However, even at that time, disclosure of treatment or diagnosis was never provided to supervisory personnel unless the (client) officer was a threat and should not be armed. David returned to duty and continued to serve as a great detective.

Excluding David, I witnessed many other examples of innocent children who were victims of pedophiles. They never get over those perverted and tragic experiences. It was incredibly difficult for David: the pedophile was a trusted family member. As with David, the strongest of people carry the guilt and pain of molestation. Also, people close to us can be exempt from suspicion.

Pedophiles are all too often stereotyped as some ugly older man enticing children to come to him, offering candy or favors in exchange for their attention. People ignore the fact that child molesters can be anyone, including family members, clergy, friendly parishioners, neighbors, work associates and others in a position of trust. Many of these pedophiles are respected members of the community. Child molesters come from all walks of life. Those who hide behind a cloak of normality and respectability are the worst offenders of all.

The U.S. Department of Justice developed the following characteristics and behavioral indicators of a pedophile: the incestuous or interfamilial molester is usually an adult male, married, works in a wide range of occupations, and relates well with children. He socializes with few adults unless they are pedophiles. He prefers children in a specific age group, either males or females, but may be bisexual. He may seek employment or volunteer with programs involving children of the age of his preference, pursuing children for sexual purposes. He frequently photographs or accumulates photographs of his victims, either dressed, nude, or in sexually explicit acts. He may collect child erotica and child-adult pornography. He may possess and furnish narcotics to his victims.

How do you ensure children users’ online safety on curafun.com?

We share your concerns, and have spent years tweaking parent control setting in our homes, trying every app, hardware that are released.

Our program provides a safe environment for children to learn, fail and try again.  It is an intentional and controlled learning environment, and the only equivalent is hiring a one-on-one coach with years of experience in child psychology and education pedagogy. Also, extensive research supervised by NSF, US Department of Education as well as our own internal studies demonstrate that children only need to participate in the program two times a week for 15 minutes each time to benefit.

As a non-profit founded to improve Asian youth’s emotional fitness, we commit to the following:

No hidden agendas – political, religious or anything other than improving children’s emotional wellbeing.

No selling or trading of your personal information

No advertisement  You don’t have to worry about inappropriate Google, Youtube ads popping up. We are not going to sell anything to your kids nor allow other companies to do so.

No private messaging, chatting or emails 
We understand dangers abound online, which is why your children’s accounts exist under yours.  There is no peer to peer private messaging or chatting.   Many other schools and programs ask for children’s emails, we don’t ask and don’t store that data anywhere.  Subscribers to the Multilingual Immersion program have the option of participating in our international pen pal program.  You can find out more about this program here, but know that it is a teacher-led pen pal program where your child’s coach facilitate language and cultural exchange between chosen pen pals.

No Storage or tracking of personal identifying Information

  1. Children can be signed up by their parents, and there’s no need for children to provide their email or identifying personal information.
  2. Any information requested are only used to create personal evaluation/assessment reports, website login and payment processing.