PARENTS WHO WANT TO RAISE EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT KIDS NEED TO TEACH THIS ONE SKILL

Parents who want to raise emotionally intelligent kids need to teach this one skill

Parenting is hard to say the least. Unfortunately there is no how-to-manual to help and one size definitely does not fit all. All parents want to raise their children to be amazing adults. One thing on the experts’ radar is to give parents the secret to raising emotionally intelligent kids. Want to know how? Well, parents who want to raise emotionally intelligent kids need to teach this one skill-empathy.

According to the experts, here are five ways to teach children empathy and help them become emotionally intelligent.

1. Model emotional intelligence grounded in empathy

We all know that children mimic the adults in their lives. Whatever the behavior, remember, little eyes are watching. If you demonstrate empathy, compassion, and self-awareness, they will model your behavior. There is no better teacher than someone model emotional intelligence first-hand.

2. Be okay with your own feelings

If you are modeling emotional behavior for your children, then you definitely need to commit 100% and be okay with how you feel. If you are sad, show it. If you are happy, celebrate it. If you are angry, deal with it in a healthy way. By being okay with your own feelings teaches your children to be okay with their own.

3. Validate their feelings

Many experts have pointed out that kids, “listen better after they are heard.” When children have strong emotions or feelings, validate them and let them know that they are being heard. Psychologist and communication expert, Eran Magen has a helpful acronym for parents to remember to do this. It is, WIG or What I Got? Some examples of what parents should say to let their children know that they’ve got their emotional back include the following:

  • “What I got from what you said is that you feel like your friend betrayed you.”
  • “Am I getting this right — that the way she said it made you feel like she was trying to embarrass you?”
  • “It sounds like you’re pretty disappointed about your performance.”
  • “I think you’re saying that your emotions were so strong in the moment that you freaked out.”
  • “Let me see if I’m understanding. Other kids were doing it, too, and you feel like your teacher singled you out, and that’s not fair.”

4. Let children ask questions

Once children feel comfortable with their own emotional intelligence growth, sit down with them and ask questions. Delve deeper into how they are feeling, why, and more. This will not only help them think more about their feelings and emotions and question “why am I feeling this way?” It will also allow some quality time together that you all will cherish.

5. Celebrate your child’s emotional intelligence and empathetic growth

When your child begins to demonstrate emotional intelligence and empathetic growth, it is time to celebrate! Order pizza, allow them to have their special desert, add an extra hour of screen time. Positive reinforcement goes a long way with cultivating behaviors for children that are for the long haul.

24 reasons children act out—and how to respond

24 reasons children act out—and how to respond

Here are some tips on how to better understand your child’s good behavior and less-than-great moments.

Whether they’ve drawn on the walls or spat in grandpa’s face, acting out is always a symptom among children—not the problem itself. “Acting out” literally comes from “acting out their feelings,” which means when children can’t express their needs and emotions in healthy ways, they will act them out through displeasing behavior. Here are some tips on how to better understand those feelings and get on track to good behavior.

The key to understanding “acting out” is to see it as a communication driven by an unmet need.

Just as a puppy doesn’t purposely provoke us by chewing up the couch, our children’s behaviors come as much more natural expressions of their internal states.

It’s so easy to jump to judgments like “he’s just pushing my buttons” or “she’s doing it on purpose.” But we’d be wise to remember that when children can cooperate, they generally prefer to. Here are some reasons that might really be at the root of the challenging behaviors—and some ideas of how to respond to them.
[…]

4. They’re worried about something

If your child is harboring a concern about an upcoming transition—such as moving houses, a new baby on the way, a new school, a new job, a new babysitter ora sick grandparent—they likely will not have the words to express that in a healthy way. Rather, they’ll begin to refuse the meals you prepare, to hurt other children or to breakdown in tantrums at Every. Little. Thing.

This is their way of trying to gain some control over their lives. When you have an inkling as to what the worry is, pick a calm and connected moment, such as bedtime or a long drive, and address it head on. Be sure to be honest, but also optimistic and empowering. Don’tt dismiss their worries, but help talk abouth what might happen and what they can do about it.

Teach your child to express their anger through words, songs, painting… We love to sing the mad song (below) and eventually break into giggles. The healing comes when the angry feelings are expressed and allowed by you—even if the behavior is not.

What to say: “Yikes. I know you know that cushions are not for drawing on. And I can see from your face how mad you are right now! Being mad is just fine, but ruining our furniture is not. Would you like to stamp your feet and sing a mad song? Let’s do it! Repeat after me! “I’m MAD MAD MAD! I want to be BAD BAD BAD! I feel so SAD SAD SAD! That makes me MAD MAD MAD!”

5. They’re afraid of something

Most children experience normal childhood fears such as fear of the dark, monsters or robbers. While they may be normal, they can also be deeply inhibiting and can set them on edge throughout the day. Rather than remaining calm and regulated, your child might act out with anger. Helping him find coping mechanisms to gradually face these fears is key in helping children overcome their fear and not be controlled by it.

Validate their fears but still hold the expectation for them to overcome them, with support.

What to say: “I do not like being yelled at. I can see you’re feeling pretty angry right now. Has this got something to do with the questions you were asking me about robbers before? I know there are none, and I want you to feel sure, too. Would you like for us to go through the house with a flashlight so you can feel satisfied there are no robbers here?”

6. They’ve been influenced by something

If children are watching violent TV shows or have neighbors, friends or cousins who are wild, destructive or disrespectful—they may well try on this behavior. We all unwittingly, imitate what we see around us. When I’ve watched too much Downton Abbey, for example, my accent skews far posher than usual. So if your neighbor has been reciting a foul-mouthed rap song to your daughter this morning in the yard, you can expect some of that to come through.

What to say: “Hmmm, using those words is not how we speak in our home. I know you might hear other people using that language but being respectful is very important to our family.”

7. They’re mirroring you

I know this one bites. But when we’ve been losing our cool, yelling, punishing, threatening, it’s safe to assume our children will mirror that behavior right back at us. So when my son says: “How dare you?” it’s nothing short of hypocritical of me to shoot him down with, “You will not speak to your mother that way,” because clearly, he got it from me.

What to say: “I know I’ve been yelling and raising my voice. I’m sorry. It’s important that we all speak kindly and gently to each other, including me. Can we start over?”

Continue reading the rest at www.mother.ly

Calm conversation with your teen

Whether we like it or not, we are constant role models to our kids. Our children are always watching our actions and listening to our words. What a high pressure job to have. There are times when we are not the best parents, but this is to be expected. We are human just like our kids. As parents, we often make mistakes and respond negatively to everyday stressors. Although life can occasionally become overwhelming, it’s important to remember that we always have a choice as to how we respond to frustrating situations. Healthy management of stress is an essential skill for children to develop. If we pretend that nothing flusters us, we lose an opportunity to guide our child with helpful and productive methods to manage stress and discomfort. Our actions and choices as parents are the best learning tools for our children. One of the key elements in helping developing adolescents is providing the space for open and honest communication. This means remaining calm even if what we hear is hard to swallow or causes us some discomfort. Honesty is crucial, because our kids can sense when we are faking emotions or not being genuine in conversation, just as we can sense it in them. When difficult conversations with your teen arise, it is OK to say something like, “Right now, I’m so upset that I can’t make decisions. I want to think this through instead of reacting.” Or maybe something like, “We’ll talk when I’m ready. I […]

Read the rest of the article at duboiscountyherald.com

Kids Bilingual Immersion Gamified Educational Program Chinese English Announced

curaFUN announces its new emotional development and social resiliency subscription program for children in English and Mandarin Chinese. The program helps kids aged four to 11.

curaFUN, a youth-centered organization for native Chinese, American-born Chinese, and overseas Chinese worldwide, announces its gamified subscription programs for emotional development and wellness for children aged four to 11. Subscriptions include interactive activities that teach children social and emotional life skills in both English and Mandarin Chinese.

More details can be found at https://www.curafun.com

The newly announced subscription service aims to develop well-rounded and globally competitive children who are proficient in both English and Mandarin Chinese. The virtual programs use gamified activities and real-life interactions so that children become comfortable in speaking and interacting with their peers in both languages. The activities are offered in English only, Chinese only, and English and Chinese options.

Understanding and speaking in more than one language has many benefits. According to the latest financial reports, bilingual workers earn as much as 20% more than those who can only speak one language. Further, neuroscience research has found that the brains of bilingual and multilingual people have stronger brain connections.

curaFUN developed its emotional wellness games to further the educational programs available for Chinese who want to improve their English skills as well as English speakers wishing to perfect their Chinese. Their programs train children to develop social competency which helps them interact with their friends in either language.

The subscription program features 23 – 30 progressive levels and more than 20 hours of gameplay. The online A.I. powered games cultivate a growth mindset in children, teaching them leadership skills and building their emotional wellness. The program is recommended for children in pre-kindergarten through Grade 5.

curaFUN emphasizes that its program builds on existing educational offerings that are solely focused on building subject-specific knowledge. They say that children need to strengthen both their IQ and EQ to become well-rounded and competent adults.

The program may also have therapeutic benefits in the early detection of ADHD, anxiety, and autism.

“To thrive in life, your child must possess a solid foundation of social-emotional skills that empower them to learn and connect,” the organization writes. “Children also get a head start on leadership insights and negotiation tactics.”

Interested parties can find more information by emailing info@curafun.com or visiting the above-mentioned website.